Friday, April 6, 2012

F is for Fairies guest post by Martin Rouillard

My name is Angeline, and I am a fairy.

First of all, I would like to say that I am thrilled and honored to have been invited by Scott and Martin to write a guest post for the Indie Book Blog. It’s not very often that my kin and I have a chance to express ourselves. These days, it seems everything has to be about vampires and werewolves and elves. Those aren’t the only supernatural creatures around, though, and it’s time the rest of us got a little love! Come to think of it, it’s not really a surprise that we fairies got stuck in the bleachers of the mythological theatre. In fact, it’s probably a miracle that some people still remember us today. Back when I was a young fairy, when men were gathering to form their first civilizations, we got so much bad press. The stories that my mother used to tell me were just awful! Can you imagine that people actually believed we would sneak into their houses, kidnap their newborn babies and replace them with changelings? That is simply untrue.  We would never sneak into anyone’s home. Well, most of us wouldn’t … I do have a cousin who has a bizarre obsession with teeth, but she is mostly harmless.

The point is, I have never kidnapped anyone in my life! Neither babies nor old folks. What on earth would I do with a grumpy eighty-year-old anyway?

Unfortunately, kidnapping was not the only crime we were accused of. There was one allegation that men were particularly quick to throw at us: murder. Can you imagine? Me, a murderer! I have better things to do than force young lovers to dance until they die of exhaustion or seduce smelly drunks to siphon their life force with a kiss. Eww!

Sometimes, I wonder where all these strange accounts came from. I guess my aunt Carabosse did not help, with that quick temper of hers. She did not get invited to Oberon’s birthday party, but there really was no need to go around and curse everybody for it. At least her sister Baba Yaga helps people on rare occasions. Granted, more often than not, she’ll eat intruders, but her heart is in the right place. If only she didn’t insist on living in a creepy cabin nestled on top of giant chicken legs, maybe she’d get more visitors and would eventually warm up to the company of others. I ought to pay her a visit soon.

However, those two are only a couple of rotten apples in a basket of juicy ones. Most of us are quite pleasant and helpful. Take Aunt Arie, for instance. She used to love to bring presents to kids who behaved properly. She would shower them with gifts and favors and bask in their laughter. That is, until a stout old man and his reindeer stole her gig. Maybe that’s another reason we’re so misunderstood. We should learn to speak up and stop letting others take credit for our good deeds. That’s a lesson we should all have learned after Babushka got cold feet and backed out of her journey with the Three Wise Men. Boy, did she regret that decision.

As you can see, it isn’t easy being a fairy. At least we got a short respite in the Middle Ages. That was an era when a lot of my people finally got some recognition, tagged with the moniker fairy godmother. I was not one of the lucky ones, but I was glad to see my sisters and cousins, who had worked so hard to protect those assigned to them, getting some credit for their labor. And that wasn’t even the best part! Thanks to some creative and open-minded people, we even had wings bestowed on us. Before that, we had to travel on crows and squirrels. I sure don’t miss that! The smell is just impossible to wash off.

Unfortunately, our glory days were short-lived. Are you guys aware that you’re awful at keeping track of things? It wasn’t long before you started mixing everything up. By the end of the Middle Ages, every little creature was considered to be a fairy: leprechauns, gnomes, goblins, sylphs, elves, nymphs, mermaids, revenants. I mean, really … ghosts? Seriously? It’s no wonder we were cast aside so quickly, since no one really knew what we were about anymore. Our true nature simply got lost in a sea of mythological inaccuracies. But I’m here to set the record straight:

- I do not live underground, in some wet and foul-smelling cave. I have a cozy home in a tree.

- I do not sneak into people’s houses, but I will come in if you invite me.

- I do not eat clouds, the color of seasons or dream cloth. That is crazy. However, I do love honey, warm bread and the perfume of flowers.

- I am not afraid of people wearing their clothes inside out. It does, however, make you look like an idiot.

- Iron has no effect on me, but if you strike me with an iron bar, I am definitely gone. Your loss.

- I am not the goddess of water, earth, wind, sun, fire, flowers, trees, nature, fish, love, fertility, anger, courage, wisdom, war, peace, milk or even pastries. If I were, things would be a lot different around here.

So what am I? you ask. It’s simple: I am a guardian, a protector and a guide. My role is to look after those who were put under my protection and those who seek it, if they are nice. I can help you thread your destiny and navigate your future safely, as well as warn you of dangers to come. I am not here to take on the challenges of life for you, but I can help you prepare for them. You may see me or you may not, but I will be there nonetheless. If you care for me as much as I care for you, then our adventure together will be magnificent. But if you discard me like a dirty sock, I will make you pay tenfold! Just kidding! I’m not that resentful …

I hope that clears things up about us fairies. We’re not evil; we’re the good guys. I hope you’ll be lucky enough to meet one of my sisters or a cousin of mine someday. If you do, make sure to treat her appropriately, and rest assured that you will be rewarded accordingly. Until then, if you would like to learn more about me, the Unshakable Angeline, I invite you to read about my adventures in a new book called Rise of the Red Dragon.

It’s available right now at Amazon.

You won’t regret it!

You can also stay informed of the latest news regarding the Tales of the Lorekeepers series by
following author Martin Rouillard on Facebook, Twitter, and Goodreads.

6 comments:

  1. hi, little fairy! What a delightful, charming and witty post. I enjoyed it tremendously and you are right. Fairies are much maligned and misjudged! Thank you for enlightening those who need it. Best regards from me. Ruby

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great to meet you Angeline! Loved knowing about your fairy little ways.
    Great A-Z post!
    Nutschell
    www.thewritingnut.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. Intriguing. Just downloaded the book. I was already interested BEFORE I saw that it was free. I'll leave a review after I read it. Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Great post. I chuckled about wearing clothes inside out. Love the humor in this. I'm a new follower from A to Z.
    Ciara Knight
    www.ciaraknight.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks for stopping by everyone. Apologies for the formatting hiccup that was totally on me not Martin. Today I'm hoping to visit my visitors from the A-Z Challenge and say hi!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thank you all for the great comments. I'm glad you enjoyed meeting Angeline! She is quite the character for sure. Although she is away right now, probably saving the world with Samuel, I'm sure she would be delighted to read the replies. I hope you will enjoy her adventures! :)

    ReplyDelete